So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
