3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
