Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
