Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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