He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
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