I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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