the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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