How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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