Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Actions speak louder than pants.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
