Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
