New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
