Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
