also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
