Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
