please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm both gender and math confused
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
