She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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