halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
