We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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