sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
