I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
