i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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