My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
