3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
