can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
