I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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