i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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