apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
