dude i'm inner monologue high
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
