i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
