He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
