i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize