So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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