Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
