I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
