i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
