Porn is love you can see.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
