I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
