what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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