batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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