he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
