Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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