I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
