Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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