I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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