I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
