At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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