yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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