the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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