I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so let's talk penis.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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