"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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