there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
